Chapter 11 - Portland

We spent the majority of the day at the state park. It was so windy and the windsurfers and kite boarders were out. Kite boarding is more popular than I thought. 

Waiting for the wind to calm down I walked to get some beer and had to go up this super steep road with NO shoulder. There was a "sidewalk," maybe a foot wide. 

With a wall on the other side it was a pretty narrow space to be walking. I saw my life flash before my eyes as a fully loaded hay truck and trailer scraped the curb as i flattened out against the way, Indiana Jones style. Luckily someone gave me a ride after that. 

We got the majority of the way to Portland the next day and found all the boaters. It was Sunday and they were everywhere. Speedboats and tubers and fishermen, all speeding past us like total dicks. Some of them didn't approve of our journey with comments like, "Fuckin' hipsters. I'm sick of this shit."

We stayed on Kelly Point that night. It was our last night camping. It rained. We were ready to be back in regular life. We watched the freighters roll by all night. 

We made it to Portland the next day. It was raining and we rowed up to a park in an industrial part of town. The vintage boat repair yard was right next door and the nicest guy let us store the canoe there.

More nice homies from White Pass gave us a place to stay and clean up (which was super necessary.) A big thanks goes out to Kirsten, Aaron, and Jerry. You guys were such wonderful hosts. 

We went out on the town Wednesday night and saw some band that sounded like the Black Keys playing. Talked to some people and it was a good night. 

My awesome parents picked us up, and so begins the journey home. It was strangely anticlimactic arriving in Portland. After almost a month on the river, we were more excited to be done than about what we had accomplished. I guess we had a month for it to sink in. We officially canoed 306 miles, portaged 5 dams, and crossed two different ecosystems. It seems like it all went by in the blink of an eye. 

Chapter 10 - The End is Near

A lot has happened since the last post. It got cloudy so my solar charger has been useless and my phone has been dead for two days. This means no posts and also means no photos. Very sad indeed. Luckily Arlo got tons so you'll have to wait for those I guess. 

We set off for the next town to resupply and it was nice and calm that morning. We got some food and beer and went to the bar to get a little phone charging action. We came back to the boat to find the conditions had changed dramatically.  

We started off toward the last dam but could only make it a few miles against the wind. We found a little spot inside a little inlet that seemed like a good spot to camp and blocked the wind. It looked like rain so we made a little lean-to with the retired sail tarp. We slept well after finding some bear poop nearby. 

We crossed The Bridge of the Gods, where the Pacific Crest Trail crosses the river, and unofficially crossed the Cascade Mountains. 

A mile or so past that was the last dam. Online said the last place to get out of the river was 5 miles upstream. We didn't believe it so we paddled right up to the no boat sign. Can't say it was the best idea but we made it work. We found a shitty little rotten staircase that the natives had used for fishing (many years ago I'm sure) and figured it would be the best place to get out. So we drug the canoe up a 20 ft staircase, then up another steep hill to the road. Undoubtedly the gnarliest portage yet.

The put-in spot was almost as bad. Pretty steep and only boulders. We had to lift our little cart over a chain/gate thing and on the way down it cracked. We got about 2 feet from where we wanted to put in and little Champ (our cart) called it quits. The little guy broke in half. He did all he could to help us and figured he had done enough.

We found a nice little camping spot and called it a night. The current was swift so we figured we'd have a nice easy day ahead of us. 

The current ran out pretty quick and we made a couple miles. We met another guy on the river who had constructed a little sailboat out of an old river raft, some PVC, and a trap. He said he had been on the river about a month, just cruising around. We're not the only crazy people on the river that's for sure. 

While looking for a camping spot, we stopped on Sand Island. We saw a guy in the distance who appeard to be in the nude. As we got closer it was apparent that he was. We inadvertently ended up on a nude beach. There were no camping spots though so we got back on the river. 

We finally found a state park and called it a night, but not before seeing some huge fish in the shallow water. One of them bumped right into the boat. We went to sleep with the city lights of Washugal across the way, and the glow of Portland in the distance.

I did get two photos before my phone died. Here's one where I left Sparky on a bouy...

And one of our new friend Shop Cat...

Cats are friends, not food. 

Chapter 9 - Boys in the Wood

The wind picked up that night, and we awoke to some pretty lame river conditions. We tried to make some distance, but the wind was blowing on our nose and we couldn't make much progress. We decided to stop on a little beach to wait out the wind. 

We looked around and hiked up this little hill. It was quite the workout since we haven't used our legs in days. (Yes, we skipped leg day.) There was a little trail up there with some freshly broken limbs around. We thought for sure there would be treasure. There wasn't, so I took this photo of Sparky. 

We waited out the wind for what seemed like forever. A guy gave us a bunch of snacks the other day, so we ate all those. Then we did what all boys do when their bored in the woods, we sharpened some sticks. 

We stuck them in the ground and found dead things to put on them. It was some Lord of the Flies shit out there. 

We also smashed stuff on the train tracks. Basically lost all our change to the railroad...

It started to calm down on the water around dusk, so we figured we'd make a break for it. It was a little breezy at first, but still felt pretty chill. About an hour in Sparky turns to me and says, "Hey Mad Dog, do these waves feel a little bigger to you?" They were long, so it just felt like the boat was rising and falling, but they were pretty big. 

Before we knew it the wind had picked up too. It was a moonless night so visibility was ridiculously nonexistent. You couldn't tell how big the waves were, but some of them were pushing 4-5 feet. Undoubtedly the largest waves we've seen yet, and we couldn't even see them. We buried the bow once or twice, and a barge wake came over the side and got my jeans all wet. Needless to say, it was a terrible idea going out in that stuff. 

We both wanted out pretty bad, so we made for shore. What looked like shear cliffs to me, turned out to be a little rocky beach with a big pine forest on it. Sparky noticed something in the bushes and went to check it out. 

He found a little cashe. On top was written,

"Free to the finder. Praise God."

Inside was a can of red spray paint, a travel mug, a jar of matches, a couple of mesh/net things, and about 15 pounds of catalogs from the summer of '99. 

It wasn't what we were expecting (alcohol), but it was still nice to find. We actually found some treasure on our trip. Might even have been the only people to find it since someone stashed it here 15 years ago. 

Chapter 8 - The Land of the Pines

 We were cruising along and making good time. Probably made 15 miles and came around a bend where you could see farther west. And there waiting for us was Mt Hood with rolling hills of pine trees leading up to it's base. That was one of my favorite moments of the whole trip. After two weeks of waking up to the same shrub-steppe environment, we finally get to see some trees.

After a long day of paddling and a little sailing we made it the 20 miles to The Dalles Dam, but not before dark. It didn't look like a chill spot to camp, being right next to the dam, and we figured a portage would be more comfortable without the blazing sun. We decided to go for it. 

It was three miles to the next put-in spot. We had to walk down a two lane highway with cars going 50mph past us, all in the middle of the night. We almost caused one head on collision when cresting a hill. Sparky turned to me and said, "Mad Dog, I'm just sayin', this is a little gnar."

And gnar it was

We did make it though. Our cart is taking some wear, but we only have one damn dam left. We made it to the put-in spot super late, and still had to cook dinner. Which was over a twig fire since we've been out of fuel for my stove for days. It was a long day to say the least. 

The next day we went over to the city of The Dalles. We got more fuel! I don't think I've ever been so happy to see little canisters of gas. We loaded up on some other supplies, and got breakfast at Denny's. 

The Dalles has some beautiful turn of the century architecture too.

We left and made it a solid 10 miles before getting to a park where we wouldn't be bothered and made camp. We slept under some big conifers, and boy does it feel good to be in the land of the pines. 

Chapter 7 - Children of Nature

We had to wait out the wind in Arlington. We didn't get back on the water until 6pm. It was blowing at least 20mph solid with big gusts. When we finally got back in it had calmed down pretty good and we put up the sail to get some miles in. 

We've really become dependent on the elements. The wind and the river dictate everything we do. In five miles we'll hit the 200 mile mark and I think we've finally become children of nature. Like being on the sailboats where everything is personified, it's the same on the river. 

We've been praying to the wind and river gods every night. I think we're becoming pagans living out here. The wind has a mind of it's own and so does the river. It's beginning to make sense why people would perceive them as different entities.  

We pulled up to another campfire that night just as some native fishermen were pulling in. They were out checking their nets, since it's gill net season. They were super nice and let us share their campfire and one let us sip his 40oz/whiskey cocktail. He told us drunkenly, 

"Look at the moon. Please! See it up there? See the river? Look at it on the river. That [reflection] goes right into your heart. You see that and your boat will go safe and strong." 

We woke up in the morning to other fishermen who gave us some apples and smoked salmon before heading out to check nets. 

The wind was still at our backs and we made it to the next dam ahead of schedule. It was the most beautiful portages so far. 

And when we got back down to the river, you could see Mt. Hood in the distance just as the sun was setting. Two weeks in and were two thirds of the way to Portland. During those first couple slow days I thought we'd be out here forever. Now we're getting pretty close and I'm realizing that it unfortunately will have to end. 

Below the dam was the little town of Rufus, OR where I spent my first night hitchhiking. We walked to the store for some snacks and I got a little nostalgic thinking how much I have done since I was there last. Ol' Rufus was good to me and Sparky. We should be in The Dalles tomorrow, and the sketchiest part of the river is yet to come. Hopefully the wind and river are good to us. 

 

Chapter 6 - A Tale of Two Cities

It was the best of times. It was the worst of times. We were thankful to be out of Umatilla, but the times were pretty rough. We paddled up wind for the majority of the next day. My camp stove was out of fuel and we basically only have dehydrated foods. We paddled 10 miles to the next town in hopes of finding more fuel, but there was none to be found. 

We kept paddling, up wind the whole day and into the night. The shore was covered in thick vegetation and we really couldn't see. It was extremely rocky too, with rocks jutting out of the water and little islands here and there. I navigated using my phone and satellite imagery to a spot I found on Google maps. 

We had to cook somehow but the place was marshy and everything was wet. We finally got dinner made by 10pm and moral was pretty low. 

The next day the wind was in our favor! We paddled the first ten miles in no time. I joked to Sparky saying we should rig up a sail and he said he was down. So we pulled over on an island and found a driftwood mast. We tied a tarp to our extra paddles and strung it all up. 

We were both pretty sure it would work, but it was a pretty sketchy set up. We got her out on the water and sure enough we were cruising down the river. We couldn't paddle that fast if we tried. We sailed for a few hours, and with our hands free we kicked back and drank a beer.

We made it another 13 miles to the next town, beautiful little Arlington. They had a grain elevator with a big welcoming sign, a park with kids playing basketball, and a pretty little gazebo and covered bridge in the park. 

It was a welcomed change from Umatilla. Everyone here was so friendly. We ate pizza for the first time in forever.  It's my favorite little nowhere town in all of Oregon. Unfortunately they didn't have the right fuel either so we still might starve. Only 50 miles to the Dalles...

Chapter 5 - River Life

We headed off to the scary part of the river that everyone said was strait cliffs on both sides and has train tracks for beaches. After stopping at the Walla Walla Yacht Club for breakfast we went for it. Some guy up the river said he wouldn't even come down here in a boat "it's like an ocean!"  

It wasn't bad at all. There were train tracks and we stopped to eat dinner under a bridge. 

We couldn't find a place to camp, unless we wanted to sleep on the tracks, so we decided to keep paddling into the sunset. 

When it got dark we saw this orange light a couple miles away. We speculated that it could be a campfire, surrounded by hot girls and partying with all kinds of beer and pizza. And like a moth to a light we took off after it. It was farther than we expected. After a couple of hours of paddling and wondering whether it was a fire or not, we finally got close enough to see. 

It was a high school party with tons of chips and soda. Some of their buddies were shipping off the marines so they were having a little get together. We felt pretty bad for rolling up and stealing their thunder, but they were so nice they gave Sparky their nice fishing rod so he could catch fish on the river. Those kids were alright. 

Their buddies came later with beer and it was a wonderful night. Oregon ain't so bad so far. 

We made it to the dam the next day and had the easiest portage ever. It was paved the whole way and only about a mile. It was actually kind of fun. A sheriff pulled over to talk to us and said, "That's dedication boys."  

Umatilla was the town below the dam and we resupplied there. It's the town I was trying to get a ride in for 6 hours while hitchhiking. Needless to say I wasn't excited to be back. The people were just as friendly as before, they don't respond when you say hello...

We left promptly and made it to a beautiful island back in Washington. 

We slept in the sand and had a little fire under the full moon. I still like Washington more. 

The next day we tried to make some miles. The wind picked up and made some 3 foot waves. We were struggling to make any progress. The waves were breaking over the bow and the wind was spraying us pretty good. I had to bail the water out of the bottom. But we made it to the Oregon shore where the wind was blocked by the trees and slept in the sand again. River life ain't so bad.