He asked me if I would mind if he hustled up some gas along the way. He had a "Need gas, please help" sign. I said, "Man, I got a banjo. Let's hustle."
This guy talks a lot too, so I got to know him pretty quick. He was from Alaska and came down south to get away from the drugs. This dude was selling meth and heroine, making like 50-60 felony drug deals a day. He's been convicted of 3 felonys and been to jail 21 times. He was headed back to North Dakota to pick up his girlfriend after she got out of jail.
This might sound pretty sketchy but he was a pretty honest dude. He was gonna split all the money he made from his gas hustle with me. He was sleeping in his car. I slept in my sleeping bag outside and he gave me the keys so I wouldn't worry about him driving off. He was a good guy, just into some heavy stuff.
He had some crazy stories too. I felt so tame around this guy. He told me about one time when he was tweakin' and saw a car parked in a field with the dome light flashing. He walked up and it was a dash mounted laptop with satanic symbols as a screen saver. Then he hears this screaming coming from the woods and goes to check it out. He stood for a bit waiting to hear the screams again and hears someone say, "Is that guy really just gonna stand there?" And he just booked it. He was a hundred miles away before he mentioned it to anyone. He told a sheriff in training at the bar and the guy just tells him to keep his mouth shut.
We made it to this tiny little town in North Dakota and tried to find some beer. The only place you can buy a six pack is at the bar. Some guys there wanted us to stick around and play some pool, but we couldn't drink the beers in the bar so the bartender told us to drink them in the parking lot and come back in. (No joke.) Turns out these guys are the drunken city councilmen of Tower City, North Dakota (or as the locals call it Cower Tity). You just can't write this stuff.
I'll take another pause in the narrative for some other crazy meth-head stories. Without boring you with the story of being shot at by sound wave guns, or running the judge of Winlock, WA off the road, or even the most legitimate story of demonic possession I've ever heard, I'll tell you about the time he got sold bath salts instead of meth.
This dude was so high, he was walking down the middle of the street in Portland, razor blade in one hand and a can of mace in the other. This street also happened to be a bridge, and he was stopping traffic convinced there were at least 30 people trying to kill him. The cops just told him to run along. Some how he gets in and out of jail a few times before coming down off whatever it was he took. He was riding the bus and saw some kid with his headphones in. Of course headphones mean you're FBI and are trying to kill him. So he's yelling at this kid on the bus and threatening to kill him etc... I guess it was like three days before that whole ordeal was over. Don't do drugs kids.
We stopped at a little lake to do laundry, tried to steal some corn from a farmers field, and even pulled over to watch the sunset one night. You never know who you run into on the road. And you never know how cool people can be if you don't give them a chance.
Thanks for the ride man. I hope you treat your girl right, and settle down. Stay off that dope homie.
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