Crownival: Three Days of Debauchery

I packed up all my stuff and said goodbye to Zeus (the dog), and walked out to the bus stop. I was headed to Crownival in hopes of catching a ride out of town (and also destroying my liver and being punk as shit). Detroit buses are terrible. The first one didn't come, the second one was late, and my transfer was totally full. They don't even tell you what stop is next. It's insanity. I found my way to Crow Manor after about 3 hours. 

I made a new friend who said she hadn't eaten anything. So I walked with her to the Coney down the street. We ran into some random guy and ask him if we're going the right way. The dude had apparently taken ten pills earlier and was a little out of it. We took him under our wing and bought him some dinner. We met another lady at the Coney who overheard our "don't take so many pills, man" conversation and asked us if we had any heron. She missed the meal at the shelter so we gave her a salad instead of drugs. We ended up having a nice family dinner at the Coney with some new friends. The rest of Friday was drinking and some killer bands until 4am. 

Saturday morning was rough for obviousl reasons. But after some coffee, everyone picked up where they left off last night. We spent most of the morning playing some good ol' crusty country music. Everyone there played a mean banjo. It was like a dream come true. 

The day's events consisted of a fiercely competitive female arm wrestling tournament (which never got finished), a pizza-on-a-string eating contest, and a no talent show. 

The no talent show was great. Some music, some poetry, reciting of Shakespeare, and about 745 terrible jokes. 

Somewhere in there Ihateyou the clown showed up. He popped out of a giant jack in the box and started spraying silly string and hurling water balloons. He also bought some frozen yogurt from the ice cream man, got pied, and chased a jogger down the street. 

The jogger actually ended up coming back, twice, and brought friends the second time. 

An actual bluegrass band played, and a thunderstorm started brewing. It was perfect timing. The metal band Sweat was setting up as the wind started to pick up and the sky got darker. They literally turned the sky black and played to the sound of thunder. It was probably the most metal thing that ever happened.

 

But everyone's favorite part is when the Detroit Party Marching Band shows up. They tore the place down. Everyone was dancing and moshing during their whole set. Most marching bands march when they play, these guys mosh. The most punk rock part of the weekend was when the cops showed up right after the marching band was done. We kept asking for one more song, after one encore already, and they weren't having it. Then as soon as the cops roll around the corner, they decided they had time to play one more. I can only imagine what it would have been like to roll up to that police call. 

There were beatboxing rap battles, people tracking their friends with yarn, alley bowling, and people playing with fire. I'm pretty sure I went to bed around 6am. 

I tried to get a ride out of town Sunday and almost took the bus. I'm pretty sure I left about 4 times without ever getting off the property. Someone offered me a ride the next morning so we spent the day drinking off our hangovers and playing our gypsy banjo/violin/accordion music. 

I don't think words can really do any justice to what happened this weekend. I'm only writing what I can remember. A big thanks goes out to the Crow Manor crew and all their awesome friends. I'll be back next year for sure.